Today's the day. I'm growing up. I'm 40! I have been waiting for this day for a long time, believe it or not. I couldn't wait to turn 40, like some tremendous flash of light was going to descend upon me and make me a new person. I'm 40 and I have a gray hair. There was no flash of light this morning, no earthquake, no brilliant revelation. It's just another day on my journey towards loving my Jesus more and more.
As I read through my prayers this morning, I got thinking about my name. My name is Karen. In Greek it means pure. I went searching for other meanings to my name and found some very nice, pretty accurate, descriptions of me, which I don't need to list for fear of boring anyone who may be reading this. One thing that really stood out though is that my dad named me. He named me the day I was born. He even changed it from what he and my mom agreed upon. I have always wondered why and never asked him before he died.
When people turn 40, sometimes there is sadness and never-ending grief over growing older. There are mid-life crises and the potentially fertile path of trying to find ourselves and wondering what this life is all about. I think I already had mine. I couldn't find my way. I was lost. There was a time when I thought my children would have been better off without me. But God turned that around for me. He has taken me on a journey that I never planned. He gave me life. He called me by my name, the same way He called Mary Magdalene on His glorious Resurrection day. She was desperately looking for her Lord, wanting to know where they took Him so she could care for His body. She didn't recognize Him until He called her by her name.
Through my toughest times, I can look back and see that He was doing that for me too. I was seeking Him and He was calling me by my name. He knows every part of me and how good it is. Everything He creates is good and He wants us to reach our full potential. He walks patiently with us, giving us what we need as we seek to grow closer to Him each day.
So who am I? There are many names I am called these days. My name is Karen. My husband calls me Sunshine. My kids call me Mom. I am a wife and a mother. I used to want a career and to make a name for myself. I was going to be a behavior therapist for autistic children. I was going to be a curriculum specialist for teachers and parents. I was going to start my own preschool. Today? Today I am a wife and a mother. I enjoy crocheting, reading, dating my hubby, and being with my kiddos. My name is Karen. My husband calls me Sunshine and my kids call me mom. There couldn't be anything sweeter.
Today I thank my Lord, for bringing me to where He always intended for me to be. Thank you, Lord, for helping me to see the value in my vocation as a wife and a mother. Thank you for encouraging me and never leaving me. Thank you for all of the blessings you have given me: my parents, my brothers and all of my family, my husband, my in-laws, their family, my children, and all of my friends. Thank you for placing all of them in my life, through the good times and the bad.
Here's to being 40 and for every year and every day after that!
