Come. Seek. Save.

For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost. ~Luke 19:10

Come. Seek.  Save.  These words struck me this morning as I was meditating on this Scripture passage.  My Lord wants to come into my life to be present in my heart and in my home to bring grace and healing to the souls He has entrusted to my care.  Seeking my heart, He finds His lost sheep that goes astray several times a day and brings me back to the fold.  All I need to do for Him to save me from myself is to accept His message and invitation and follow Him in response to His promptings.

By allowing the Lord to come into my heart, I need to first turn down the ever-invading noise in my life.  That could be anything.  It could be signing off social media for the day.  It could be keeping the music off.  It could be kicking unwanted visitors out of my headspace.  By keeping the noise levels down, I am able to respond to my Lord’s presence and accept the grace He is offering me in that present moment of serving Him.  At that moment, I can hear my child’s voice, ask for the Lord to bless the food I am presently preparing, and pray for my family by their beautiful name as I fold their clothes.  It allows me to ask Him to come into my life and lovingly change me.

My Lord said He would leave the 99 to seek the 1 lost sheep who was lost.  How many times throughout the day do I get lost? Oh so many! I get caught up in what other people are doing on Facebook and Instagram and forget about the person that’s in front of me.  I can’t count how many times I have been checking my phone while in the presence of real people.  These are the people that matter because God put them in my life for a reason, and vice versa.  He gently reminds me and extends me grace in those moments to come back to Him and His purpose for me in that moment.  I cringe when I think about all the times I reject that grace and continue on the path away from Him and His will.  The peace I feel when I give into Him and His love and grace surpasses any other and I take a deep breath and respond to His invitation and allow myself to be led back to the fold.

The present moment is where my Lord saves me.  He saves me from myself and my own agenda.  How often I forget to ask Him what He wants and I continue to do whatever it is I desire.  True joy comes from dying to myself and accepting His will for me and for my family.  It is in that moment I can ask for His forgiveness and accept His guidance as I pick up my cross and continue to follow Him.  I receive Him into my heart and allow Him to save me from myself.  

He comes.  He seeks.  He saves.  No matter where it takes me, I’m ready to follow Him.  I must be ready at any given moment to drop my agenda and plans and accept His.  Sometimes that means putting down the dirty dish to kiss my child and listen to what they wish to tell me.  Sometimes that means turning off the podcast to say hello to my husband who just trudged through the door.  Sometimes that means setting aside my writing time to run to the next activity with the kids.  My Lord gives me these moments.  Each one is precious.  Every one has the power to save when it is I who seek Him to fill that empty space in my heart.  

And He said to him: Arise, go thy way; for thy faith hath made thee whole. ~Luke 17:19

The Bells Are Still Ringing

This latest church scandal has everyone reeling for answers.  We are grasping at every article, homily, and theory that comes across our Facebook feed.  We wonder how these men who promised to serve God in the most intimate way could do this to children and to the young men placed in their care to show them the way.  For me personally, there is also that little bit of thankfulness that none of that happened to my children or any of my family and friends.

As I looked up from my phone the other night after reading an article on the latest part of the scandal, I opened the door to leave my home and run one of my children to hockey practice when I heard them: the church bells.  It stopped me in my tracks and I paused to listen to that beautiful sound.  That sound reminded me that Jesus is still with us.  He is walking with us through all of this and is still feeding us our daily bread at each and every celebration of Mass.

Thank you, Lord, for that reminder and comfort in such a turbulent time.

It's My Birthday!

Today's the day.  I'm growing up.  I'm 40! I have been waiting for this day for a long time, believe it or not.  I couldn't wait to turn 40, like some tremendous flash of light was going to descend upon me and make me a new person.  I'm 40 and I have a gray hair.  There was no flash of light this morning, no earthquake, no brilliant revelation.  It's just another day on my journey towards loving my Jesus more and more.

As I read through my prayers this morning, I got thinking about my name.  My name is Karen.  In Greek it means pure.  I went searching for other meanings to my name and found some very nice, pretty accurate, descriptions of me, which I don't need to list for fear of boring anyone who may be reading this.  One thing that really stood out though is that my dad named me.  He named me the day I was born.  He even changed it from what he and my mom agreed upon.  I have always wondered why and never asked him before he died.

When people turn 40, sometimes there is sadness and never-ending grief over growing older.  There are mid-life crises and the potentially fertile path of trying to find ourselves and wondering what this life is all about.  I think I already had mine.  I couldn't find my way.  I was lost.  There was a time when I thought my children would have been better off without me.  But God turned that around for me.  He has taken me on a journey that I never planned.  He gave me life.  He called me by my name, the same way He called Mary Magdalene on His glorious Resurrection day.  She was desperately looking for her Lord, wanting to know where they took Him so she could care for His body.  She didn't recognize Him until He called her by her name.

Through my toughest times, I can look back and see that He was doing that for me too.  I was seeking Him and He was calling me by my name.  He knows every part of me and how good it is.  Everything He creates is good and He wants us to reach our full potential.  He walks patiently with us, giving us what we need as we seek to grow closer to Him each day.

So who am I? There are many names I am called these days.  My name is Karen.  My husband calls me Sunshine.  My kids call me Mom.  I am a wife and a mother.  I used to want a career and to make a name for myself.  I was going to be a behavior therapist for autistic children.  I was going to be a curriculum specialist for teachers and parents.  I was going to start my own preschool.  Today? Today I am a wife and a mother.  I enjoy crocheting, reading, dating my hubby, and being with my kiddos.  My name is Karen.  My husband calls me Sunshine and my kids call me mom.  There couldn't be anything sweeter.

Today I thank my Lord, for bringing me to where He always intended for me to be.  Thank you, Lord, for helping me to see the value in my vocation as a wife and a mother.  Thank you for encouraging me and never leaving me.  Thank you for all of the blessings you have given me: my parents, my brothers and all of my family, my husband, my in-laws, their family, my children, and all of my friends.  Thank you for placing all of them in my life, through the good times and the bad.

Here's to being 40 and for every year and every day after that!

The Beginning of a New Year

It’s the beginning of a new year.  It’s a new start.  It’s 2017.  This past year surged by me.  The memories seem to be stuck in Google Photos, unable to be recaptured in my mind and in my heart.  My children will often tell of events that happened, things I said or did, and I don’t remember them.  These occurrences stood out in their mind.  They took seed and planted themselves in their hearts and made them laugh, made them cry, or made them feel loved.  It’s the latter that I want.  It’s the latter that we need.  It’s the latter that we all long for.

So what is in store for 2017? In a world that toils here and there, from one activity to the next, planning every minute of every day, I plan to be more mindful.  While the secular world tries to win over my mind and my heart with empty promises of happiness and gallant efforts of show, I will tend to what is right outside my window: my husband, my children, my home.  That is what is right outside the window of my heart.  That is what is right outside when I look through that window.  They will come first. 

The world isn’t going to crumble down around me if I don’t go save it because only God saves.  I am merely a lowly instrument that He can use to work through.  All glory and honor is His.  St. Therese, St. Mother Theresa, and of course our most Blessed Mother, Mary, all lived the lives that God asked.  It was the small ways they reached out to those around them, in complete humility and love that attracted others to them.  After all, it is in losing ourselves that we find Jesus.

Ironically, when I sat down to write this entry, I didn’t realize that this would be my most important goal of 2017.  There will be many branches that stretch me, grab my attention, and distract me from what is most important because there are many causes that I’m passionate about.  There is so much hurt, grief, and putrid sin that is choking the life and light out of the longing for love in this world.  When I meet my God one day, I want to have served Him well, with what He asked of me, what He put before me, right outside my window.  It’s 2017.